Did I understood it correctly?

As I slowly started to become aware and comprehend practical matters, issues started to traverse in a contradicting manner. I started resisting what was taught during my formative years and perceive what was true. I was reluctant in my opinion and this became my fundamental identity. Nevertheless, I started to discriminate the issues that lacked moral evidence

During a conversation, an antagonist was conveyed the fact that I made a fair comparison between all forms of classical music and in my opinion, found that the Western classical is performed with greater discipline when compared to that in Hindustani or Carnatic classical music

The fundamental reason for this conclusion is the result of performers and not the composers. Each form of classical music is created or written with different dialect representing acculturation. In Western classical music, we have famous composers such as Amadeus Mozart, Ludwig Beethoven, Sebastian Bach, and Antonio Vivaldi to name a few. There is Persian influence in the Hindustani music during the medieval period. On the other hand, Indian Classical music is further divided into sub-genres namely Hindustani classical and Carnatic classical music. Carnatic music is mainly sung through compositions, especially the Kriti (or kirtanam). Although improvisation plays an important role, composers such as Purandara Dasa and Thyagaraja have remained prominent composers

One observation that remained common in all forms of classical music is the composers write the music, performers will perform the music. Only interesting in Western music is the conductors who conduct symphonies. Johann Sebastian Bach was instance was a formidable intellectual and technical composer. You needed someone like Philip Grass or Daniel Barenboim to convert them to successful symphonies

On the other hand, we have common instruments in all forms of classical music. Music consolation in western classical is exemplary. Varieties of instruments are played at certain tempo and all of that has to come off, all at once. Variation in tempo and notation makes it all the more complex. Hindustani classical music has its own attractiveness and magnetism. Several families have sowed their lives inventing the instruments, improvising them to match the ragas. Surbadar and Sarod for instance has been invented by two families and have continued to be an asset to Hindustani classical music. I do not recollect such a thing in Carnatic classical music

I may say Carnatic classical has fewer variations in a single raga or a Kriti. They mostly adopt Western instrument such as Flute and Violin to complete their line-up whilst Hindustani classical musicians use instruments moreorless invented in India 

Pure performance 

During the same debate, I urged that Western classical music calls for intense discipline. Philharmonics for instance consists variety of instruments played by numerous musicians. These symphonies are played very harmoniously and with immense dedication and accurateness. Compositions of Amadeus Mozart, Ludwig Beethoven, Sebastian Bach, and Antonio Vivaldi are played with perfection. Few Hindustani musicians render awful performance. I recollect attending few Hindustani concerts that have been exemplary. Hindustani and Western classical musician often explore and expand new horizons. They mix various instruments and playing styles. This forms unique blend of music. I see this missing in Carnatic classical music 

Some of them have gone out adapting Western instruments. Few of them have been noticed and rest of them has faced an uphill task. More or less, Carnatic classical musicians have remained conservative and have closed themselves to the external world. For example – Western musicians have approached Carnatic classical musicians in the past but they have closed the doors stringently 

Thyagaraja Aradhana (commemoration of Thyagaraja’s birthday) is celebrated each year. Hundreds of Classical music gather each year in Thyagaraja’s birthplace and render concert composed by him. I have closely watched this scene for almost 25 years and the quality of concerts and performers have deteriorated drastically. The essence of music has seen variable tones. Variety of instruments comes together and the way it was played is quite messy. Displaying a lack of consistency often invites ridicule. This may sound absurd. There is lax in discipline. Few ardent admirers may differ to agree

In the end, I do not intend to write a dissertation on this subject nor do I intend to be ungrateful to any of these. There is no such thing as fair comparison. Each form or genre of music has its own reason for existence. There are various factors that influence each other’s existence. We are more or less close to the true understanding but nevertheless fail to conclude anything from this. I am a believer that all forms of music deserves its own identify but with greater discipline

Frayed ends of sanity – Life as I see it

The congestion of collective common sense can sometimes be smog. We try to circumspect trying to be careful and sensible in a way losing the crux of life. What sounds so unfamiliar to me is the way we lead our lives. The mediocreness of people often leaves you stranded in darkness. There is this line as we understand it. We often use to doubt ourselves of our capability, reasoning, perception and learning. We are very cognitive in nature. We do not give up that easily. As we grow up and old, we concrete our thoughts and perceive them to be true. This perceptual experience often leads to confrontation with others. Like Albert Einstein rightly said, there could be war between what was taught and what was believed. We never dig down to the appropriateness of the matter. We wallow in the belief thinking what was learnt was right.

The relentless ticking of time and ages will only make our thoughts old and dry. They are often paradoxical. During our formative years, we learned what was taught at school. Our parents often influenced us thinking they make the best decisions. We will know only when we peer through the mist to make our own road. Perhaps that is never the case with the vast majority. While the truth reflects, we often subdue them with great consciousness. I do not see a reason there. A young boy’s mind is very subtle and vivid. No one could exactly conclude what is sanity to them. The happiness of the yesteryear was so true and it was apparent to the minds. We use to see so many changes in ourselves. The meltdowns, tantrums and infantilism were quite clear in us. We use to jump, laugh and shoot like our little arms touch the sky. An agile mind was almost impossible for a parent to stop.

School days were fun. The seed of life takes root like a subtle change in form. We use to rewrite our lives with our flooded gates of illusions. The jubilation of seeing good scores on your marks sheet cannot be compromised with today’s disillusioned merit hikes. I had no idea what it caused. Our lives passed before our eyes so as we read our minds. The tidiness, orderliness and discipline were more of fear than passion. What makes us stick to it with pain? I do not know. A bang of the last bell ring before vacations was the best possible sound you would want to hear. We had a grotesque image of our teachers who points our weakness. Has anyone thought how interwoven are the lives of children, families, teachers and school leaders? The fidelity to our academics was with mere pressure and fear.

Looking back the years, all of these sounds comical. Our uniforms had to be tidy and we needed to attend to prayers in time. I hardly recollect praying or intending to understand as it stands. The intuition was never there. I prayed for time and with shaken faith, I could only be the last. Our thoughts dissipated unwisely. It was completely obvious that we started to find the logical reasoning or moral excuse in whatever we did and teacher failed to win over us. The expectation of teachers and parents to be highly obedient and docile was a bit too much. I was associated with a bunch of boisterous students and fellows who form similar opinion of what this society consists. I spent most of my primary school days with local fellows playing in the school’s backyard. My biggest challenge came from preferential treatment given to others for being highly obedient and mild in nature. Few of us were made perverts. I was never told that Socrates was accused of perverting young men. Who cares? 

I never cared for social and religious problems. They were not mine. I was not quite docile and was told my thoughts were obscured by clouds. It necessarily does not mean I take them for granted. What posed a bigger threat was the action taken in retaliation. I took deferential regard with greater degree and opposed these mystical swine. UP and down our lives, we experience, witness and punished in an unjustly manner. This eventually became a seed of discomfort.

Our thoughts frayed constantly and were partially disillusioned. What might have taken a long time would have got over a bit early. You live like a myriad in middle of conservative society. There will be sound statements without actions, loud laughter without meaning and vivid actions without destination. Our pre matriculation days were more memorable. After all, they were my formative years. The culmination of truth and justice took a celestial turn. Each one of us was protagonists in ourselves. The embers of those actions still remain. Those glorified days were far from over. Our week days were quite hectic than required. Those wrinkled uniforms dirtied with mud and jam mixed with colourful reaction of our parents were the stories of the bygone era. How could you ever write a book on blissful moments spend on the ground grabbing your friend up and down the hill? The mathematical assumptions of today seem quite complex. The numbers amalgamated with amusing forecasts seems comical yet demanding. Down the road was a playground where we spend the two-thirds of our vacation. There were times when our parents visited the ground to drag us home.

It was hard to imagine someone could have a girlfriend those days and vice versa. The intuition to stay clean was expected out of us. I do not conclude or assume stay turkey is clean. We end up assuming things in our own way. Nevertheless, it would be a point for pulling teeth. Science exhibitions, physical exercise, carpentry and gymnasium looked quite boring at one time. Some of them have become a part of corporate ergonomics today. We loved living on tree unnoticed. The tyranny of our intention was to be dared and be dared. It was hard for our teachers to stay mentally and physically fit to overcome our naughtiness. We were equally challenged to keep them at bay. Something we were profound of.

We passed and moved to the next class waiting for the next set of uniform, book, wrappers and labels to arrive. Eventually, the information on the book of the teacher would pass to the book of the student without passing the minds of either. It was our last year in primary school and we know that we may not see few of us ever in our lives. It became true and obvious even to this date. Lives have changed and so as our conditions.

The high-school in our town was quite different from primary school. I would assume this to be the case almost anywhere in our country. We build nests during our formative years and lean on them at a later stage. The cognition of our yesteryear is what we remember for our entire life. Life goes on.

After the end of elementary schooling, we dispersed for good and mostly I did not meet most of them thereafter. There was no chance I could meet them and we knew those were the last days we spent together. Few of us enrolled together in the same high-school and continued to produce another three dreadful years. A lot changed during this period. In this process, I found new set friends, new vision, horizon and ambitions. Gone were the days when were shadowed and dwarfed by our parents and ever-relentless relatives. At one time, I thought relatives, friends and neighbours are all the same. Nevertheless, my opinion has not changed much. I somehow feel that every relationship has void in it. It makes me believe we have an instance for everything. It is part of the fabric of society and there is nothing much one can do.

In the days where we were confined to understanding of underlying structure and not ask any question, there leaves a tinge of curiosity in it. Over and above, you start thinking of the formation of this society. We cannot help but think of it. Many things were hard to come by. We never knew what Janis Joplin did to become famous but we were certain that she was widely known and esteemed. What irks your mind is when you try to do something you are half certain. Those three years of high-school taught me quite a lot. I do not know where to start and end. All we knew was to stand on the pulpit that no one gets. We were quite astonished by the way we walked ourselves in the mist of confidence.

Each of my friends came with a different background. Our thoughts frayed constantly without boundaries. It was quite tough for all of us to keep up to each other’s dreams. These wayward days prompted us to procrastinate what should have been done that day. I never knew the seriousness of it until now. My parents, relatives and neighbours mostly came from mediocre families tied to the deed of self-defense and trying to be tactfully with others. I just could not think that way. You tend to find answers to your questions that were never there with your people. You suddenly start to see the absence in them. Those were the questions they never dared to ask their parents during their formative years.  This becomes grueling and punishing. 

They never believed their children to dare-not ask them or find out their inability. They become ardent and consoling. This vigorous patronage of the conservatives got them in trouble with progressives. It becomes evident and hard to explain. Summer vacations soon started to become completely obvious. What was more effective during the younger days later started to become redundant. We use to spend most of our sunlight time in the playground and now, it got changed to spending them at game parlours.

I do not have a strong desire to such things. Our position is often portrayed with fabrication. The truth is far from it. In such cases, I refrain from them. The culminations of my formative years plus inflated examples seem quite hilarious. There is typically more than one climax in such comparisons. The childhood often gets punished for pervert behaviour. People often end up majoring on minor things. I have seen people growing up in rags ending up fairly in same position. Some of my friends who were docile in their early days are quite belligerent today. Is it safe to assume what you learn in your formative years pay dividends for the rest of your life? I do not know. I sometimes fail to understand what we did was right or wrong. I never understood the appropriateness anyway.

The most grueling part of my childhood was being subjected to preferential treatment. My younger days have many such instances to form similar instances. I had various disagreements with a lot of teachers and I somehow found a reason to disagree with anything and everything. I was not wrong.

A lot of safe players in my view were intolerant but never got in the eyes of practical matters. The matters were vibrant and bullied by those who set the rules. I was an average student and had no intention to be better than that. I did not heed to such thoughts. I have not forgotten many of them and just that we do not talk or see each other. I quite often think this to be a reason for choosing path that is quite different from others. I disagree with the skepticism with fair amount of knowledge to how we were brought and subdued as time passed by. One thing to it is we grew older and another is anomalies that add to your life.

I grew up in the oldest locality of the town and I guess it did play a vital role to what I am today. I am not sure if that is for good or for tenacity. The difference in what I see now and how it used to be three decades ago was quite subtle. I still see some old faces and the remaining ones are vanished. Those narrow roads, conservancy paths with a lot of people jiggling around are quite amusing to see. Adding to that is with inexperience in using public transport. I have seldom used public transport and I would still say never. I mostly cycled around the places and it met my requirement of those days. I was compared to Mona Lisa’s style.

Those peak hours preparations, hurried packing and rushing to school were quite taxing. I used to be late anyway. I was asked to pray an additional time compared to others who were in time. I did not understand the meaning of that prayer and today, I do see it as my fault. I was one of the notorious students in the school reputed for being radical and belligerent. I was considered to be the arithmetic of all the fundamental problems that did not exist or portrayed with grotesque inflatable. I was honoured in many ways. I sometimes became voice of the classroom and we used to laugh at teachers failing to answer fundamental questions. Like 

Albert Einstein once said, the inefficiency of students is the result of information from the teacher’s book passing on to the book of the student without passing the minds of either. I quite agree to that. I know most of my contemporaries do not agree to this as they never had voice of their own. My views and opinions often ended in bitter arguments. My ability to besiege them and circumvent their cunning stunts was intolerable to our teachers. I was posed with severe criticism and punishment which did not leave a mark on me. To me, I was correct and I take pride of it.

The entire system required a change. I was not the only one to think that way but I could not do any better. I ended up being frayed. I regret not for once what I did but I take these as good lessons to life. I am sure most of my teachers would not be alive to this date and I do not remember them either. My elementary schooling was far better than higher secondary but there was no shortage for fun. I had built tumultuous friends all the way and it was pleasure. I built my character during my primary school and used it during my higher school. My higher school friends were never the same compared to my primary school. I never really extracted my potential and I knew what it takes. I just got sailing all the time and that was it. We moved our residence to the locality I stay now during the beginning of my higher school. My higher school life provided new environment, new friends and back at home – new set of friends too. New house provided new working space with new set of friends. Life was never the same. My new friends could never match up to my old ones and that never meant any harm to anyone.

I did find a huge difference between my primary and higher school. I did not heed to it anyway. Physical training during this period was ambiguous. Girls always enjoyed preferential treatment whilst there were few who succumbed to the political pressure. Something I failed to understand even to this date. I was rebellious by nature. I never understood the undersized politics. Starting from lecturers, principal, teachers, peon and students all played politics at their level. I have been very meaning in absorbing most of this but only for a certainly period of time.

The noteworthy effort once can see during their prime is to understand and consume practical matters. 

Adi Satyanarayana's current state of affairs

Characters in chronological order:

Sangeetha Iyengar
Adi Satyanarayana
Srikrishna Iyengar
Vishnu Iyengar
Alamelu Iyengar
Sri Vaishnavanatha
Narayana Srinivasa Iyengar
Divya Koyengar

Adi Satyanarayana is ravaging the situation which demands him to be tactfully greedy, politically wilful and psychologically stronger. Adi Satyanarayana is fighting not to cede position of being the male care-taker of the house when Srikrishna Iyengar has firm-footed his authority and proved to be a stronger foreign member. Adi Satyanarayana is fully aware of drawbacks and consciously playing to the retreats of life. Srikrishna Iyengar and Sangeetha Iyengar had disagreed to the proposal of getting Adi Satyanarayana married as there may arise a roadblock to their production. Adi Satyanarayana’s personal and psychological enemy on the marriage battlefront is Sri Vaishnavanatha (brother of Srikrishna Iyengar). Sri Vaishnavanatha is far well educated, financially healthy and is in better position to succeed in this meaningless fury of combat. Adi Satyanarayana's desperate search for a girl had failed thus far. Adi Satyanarayana's professional career was almost jeopardised by his desperate search for women and his extreme adoration towards marriage. Adi Satyanarayana tried everything to circumvent an absolute defeat. Adi Satyanarayana finally turned to love as an alternate means to search for a girl. This too failed at the speed of light which brought Adi Satyanarayana to a deadlock and with no solution found; he remained quiet and bid his time. Adi Satyanarayana was simultaneously figuring out the way to improve his professional and other walks of life.

Out of all this, Adi Satyanarayana could not find a solution and had no idea what he wanted out of his life. Adi Satyanarayana ended up as a frustrated youngster as he literally saw a lot of girls slip away due to his inability to prove his worth. Adi Satyanarayana became extremely conservative and egocentric thus resulting in isolating his social life. Being equidistant to sorrow and agony, Adi Satyanarayana became ill-fated and fell prey to the laughing minds. The label of being called an unmarried man was pounding on his head. Adi Satyanarayana went bizarre and caught to a selling spree ending up selling all his bikes. Adi Satyanarayana's impulses made him think that he should buy a modern motorbike which has better features and looks rather than just performance. This made Adi Satyanarayana think that few glitsy girls would finally fall for his baseless imagination. Adi Satyanarayana again ended up empty handed for all his antics and heroism. Meanwhile, success of Sangeetha Iyengar and Srikrishna Iyengar's production came as big blow to all his hopes and also gave a source of danger for his claim on Vishnu Iyengar's property. Vishnu Iyengar and Alamelu Iyengar were undecided on the property division whilst Adi Satyanarayana was impervious in proving his claim and worth to take over the property. Adi Satyanarayana therefore came up with an idea of demolishing the house which had a flaw in Vishnu Iyengar transferring his property to Adi Satyanarayana's name thus making him a sole owner of the property. Even this idea proved very costly to Adi Satyanarayana as he was not ready to take this big step.

There was an intense disagreement between Sangeetha Iyengar, Srikrishna Iyengar and Adi Satyanarayana even though it was claimed that all was well within the three musketeers. Adi Satyanarayana was slowly losing hold on all his once-firmly held positions. Vishnu Iyengar started to find Srikrishna Iyengar to be more responsible and family oriented which made him an ideal man. Adi Satyanarayana's position at home and outside started to worsen as days passed by. Adi Satyanarayana's professional and personal life started to look disarrayed and impulsive. During these difficult times, Adi Satyanarayana found a new ray of hope from his uncle Narayana Srinivasa Iyenagar. Adi Satyanarayana knew that Vishnu Iyengar has an inclination towards Sangeetha Iyengar and Srikrishna Iyengar which may sabotage him. A function was planned for Sangeetha Iyengar for her success of production. Vishnu Iyengar demanded Adi Satyanarayana for a weighted contribution for the function which made Adi Satyanarayana think that his lucrative savings would be sabotaged.

Now that the news of property is distantly far, Adi Satyanarayana could breathe a sigh and concentrate on his own marriage and may think of a plan to evade weighted contribution to Sangeetha Iyengar's function. Adi Satyanarayana initially claimed that he is very responsible at office and has been prosperous. This would satisfy his ego and cover his lacklustre progress. Adi Satyanarayana also claimed his bike to be the best of its class and went on an absolute savings mode. Adi Satyanarayana prevented the regular use of his bike and used it highly selectively. Adi Satyanarayana distanced his bike from rubbish roads and off-tarmac conditions thus challenging his friend to make his bike last more than his bike. Adi Satyanarayana use to cover his bike with water-proof sheet and lay rest for the entire week and with seldom use during the weekends. This helped Adi Satyanarayana maintain the bike in impact condition albeit almost no use and save cost immensely. Saving cost has taken its toll on Adi Satyanarayana and it became paramount aspect of his life. Adi Satyanarayana curbed his lifestyle completely in the quest to save money and questioned the contempt of everyone who spends money thoughtlessly. Sooner, his own lifestyle became a roadblock to his morbid visions.

The Iyengar family along with Srikrishna Iyengar and a bit of pressure from Sri Vaishnavanatha bought the premature end to Adi Satyanarayana's marriage hopes. The Koyengar family gave a judgement that Adi Satyanarayana would not get married for one more year and wait until the Sangeetha Iyengar's production is complete. This brought relief on Sangeetha Iyengar and Srikrishna Iyengar temporarily. Adi Satyanarayana was shattered and disillusioned. His only hope was to bid his time when others are focused on much serious things. In the hindsight, Adi Satyanarayana approached Narayana Srinivasa Iyenagar to find a suitable girl in Mysore whilst complying with all the conservative needs. Adi Satyanarayana kept this matter in secretive manner and ensured the parent of the girl is brought down on knees whilst he gets married to their daughter. Adi Satyanarayana's financial dealings are absurd but brilliant. His demands to girl’s father were simple. Let the marriage be as simple as possible and may the remaining money be converted into a fixed deposit in a government bank and be named after him. Narayana Srinivasa Iyenagar broke ranks and published the news to the Koyengar Family of a suitable girl. Before Alamelu Iyengar and Vishnu Iyengar could even think, Adi Satyanarayana gave a Green signal to the proposal and approved to proceed further. The news later reached Sangeetha Iyengar and Srikrishna Iyengar who came down furious but in vain. The initial resistance and to reinstate their thoughts failed. Adi Satyanarayana jumped with joy as though he has crossed seven seas. Vishnu Iyengar came back again demanding for a weighted contribution from Adi Satyanarayana. This time, Adi Satyanarayana applied for an unreasonable loan amount just to see that the loan application is rejected and he could save that for his future ventures. Adi Satyanarayana appeared disappointed and informed Vishnu Iyengar of his unsuccessful loan application and requests him to arrange funds on his own. This was one of the biggest hurdles Adi Satyanarayana had to face before marriage. Just a while ago, everything went against him and all of those were turned to his favour now. Adi Satyanarayana soon realised that his tactful intensions served him at the needy hour.

Adi Satyanarayana travelled to Mysore to see Divya Koyengar and discuss the current affairs. Adi Satyanarayana played a careful role in Mysore before they could travel to Bangalore and cross-examine the situation. Adi Satyanarayana held daily calls with Divya Koyengar to better tune her to his needs. This robotic approach was to fend off any threat posed by Sangeetha Iyengar and Srikrishna Iyengar and then to take over the ranks at home after the departure of Sangeetha Iyengar upon the production. Adi Satyanarayana waited in bait to tantalise the position. Divya Koyengar agreed to all the demands not knowing why she was asked for.

Upon the departure of Sangeetha Iyengar and arrival of Divya Koyengar, Adi Satyanarayana will only get richer. It now seems that Sangeetha Iyengar and Srikrishna Iyengar has lost grade at least temporarily. This may all become untrue during the course of marriage and production. In the quest of faster life, Adi Satyanarayana has shortened his marriage process and has targeted himself to be a father in early-2013. If all goes well and as planned, this leaves the gap to Sangeetha Iyengar's child and Adi Satyanarayana's child by just six months.

The last thing that should be on Adi Satyanarayana's mind is the prestigious property. Adi Satyanarayana has been in good books of Sangeetha Iyengar and Srikrishna Iyengar to ensure there is no strong opposition from their side and also fend off the thoughts from his wayward father. Adi Satyanarayana has destined his life and positioned it to glory. All of this is to be seen during the next few months.

After a strong display of cunning manoeuvres and tactfulness, Adi Satyanarayana would become unsurmountable. This besieges the world who thought otherwise. The glorified days are coming.